Author Topic: Truck addiction explained  (Read 8601 times)

Offline thirsty

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Truck addiction explained
« on: February 14, 2012, 11:54:00 AM »
I came across this last weekend. It was something that I wrote around 1997 for a web page. Hope you guys can relate.

4X4 Addiction: Why would anybody want an old beat 4X4?

   There are a lot good reasons why. First of all, if you are really going to use your 4X4 then it would be sensless to pay $35,000 for something to hammer on. The whole idea is to have fun when you go out wheeling. It’s not too much fun when you are worried about mud in your interior and insurance claims.
   Besides there is a lot more to it than the wheeling part.You have the search for the trucks. The research about them. The planning of your build up. The trips to the junk yards  to find that one genuine part you can’t live without. The gathering of beer and buddies in garages at night. The satisfaction of making your own beast from a pile of junk. The planning of wheeling trips. The thrill of watching the UPS dude struggle with the heavy boxes of parts that you ordered. Jeeshh…It’s endless.
   As you can see, if you just want a pretty truck to pick up girls then you should probably have a new rig with all kinds of add-ons that you paid someone to install. But if you really like the wheeling scene then an older truck will be your choice.
   Just incase you are one of those guys that ownes stock in armor-all or you’ve never built a wheeling rig I’ll explain the addiction to old 4X4’s

   First your thinking all the time about trucks, rubbernecking at every one you see that might be real and talking trash about every show and shine rig that goes by. Whenever you see one for sale on the side of the road you have to pull over, back up, risk life and limb with oncoming cars just to go open the hood or get all dirty crawling around underneath it regardless of whether or not you want it. You see, you won’t be able to help this because you are addicted!
   Then when you realize that there is a particular year and make that is your all time favorite you will have to have one someday. Before you know it you are saving 4x4 magazine articles for future reference, buying auto hunter magazines to see what’s out there for sale and for what price, driving around on back roads looking for one somebody told you that they saw and it looked like you could buy it cheap. When you decide you need one you will be obsessed with the search.
   Then it happens. Out of the blue when you have all but given up you find a rig that you gotta have. You spend three times as long looking at it as you normally do looking at rigs. You go back several times and paw the truck over loooking at every part on it. You will know this is the one because you will be able to picture the end results of a build up, know exactly how it will perform, and about what it will cost to get it there. And don’t forget this is for a truck that somebody doesn’t want anymore! Out come the old 4X4 magazines. On goes the computer to find out every bit of information on the rig. Before you even make an offer on it you will probably know more about the truck then the person selling it.
   Well you bought it! No matter the price it was a good deal to you. This is where you find out how truthful the seller was. If it runs and how good? Can you get it home? How long has it been sitting there?
   Ahhhh, now you gotta start thinking about getting it home. You can hardly wait for the weekend to get here. The tool box is ready along with jumper cables, starting fluid, air tank to fill the flat tires, and just about everything else in your garage. You have thought about the route you are going to take to get it home. If you were lucky enough to get to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles then it is legal. But if you didn’t a little paper plate isn’t going to stand between you and your new purchase.
   Well you’re off in your buddy’s rig. You think this is cheaper then a wrecker but think about it. He’s been out drinking all night and is real hungry so you stop to eat and of course you buy. His truck has two empty gas tanks, so you buy him some gas while your getting 5 gallons for the new rig. Oh what the heck, might as well pay for his butts too. It’s only been 5 miles and you are already out over $100! Then you realize he still owes you $50. You don’t care though, you’re on your way.
   Finally you pull into where the relic is. Pay the guy. And begin work. After an hour or so it’s ready to roll. You can barely hear the engine over the rotted exhaust, it’s dirty and smelly inside and you have the feeling that rigor mortis has set into it. Here we go, you grind it into gear. Not any black flies around now! Down the road shaking and rattling your off to the nearest gas station. Hopefully it makes it all the way home. This is way more fun than coming home from a new car dealer.
   Finally your home and in the garage. Crack a beer and begin to really look it over good. Funny how the more beer you drink the better it ran on the way home when somebody shows up. After a case of beer you’re ready to take it out wheeling! That’s why you gotta start taking apart as soon as you get home. Any real guy will tell you that leaning on the back of a truck drinking beer is far better then sitting at a bar drinking a beer. When you got your project truck in the garage there is sure to be somebody stopping by. There is an unwritten rule as far as hanging out in garages goes. Never show up without beer. This is why you hear of people building trucks for years. It’s all part of the fun of old 4X4’s. You can’t have this much fun at a dealership!
   Now it’s torn apart taking up all the room in one bay of your garage. You know every part of it, broken and rebuildable. Time to start the parts search. You will be spending a lot of money so some parts have to be from a boneyard or parts rig. A junkyard is like a candy shop to somebody that has an old rig. You’re surrounded by other trucks of the same vintage as yours. I know I always walk out with more then I went in for. Usually can barter with beer too!
   Time to think back to the other rigs that you had. What was it that broke and you ended up fixing in the mud? What parts where a waste of money? This is easy if you can’t remember, just go look at a show and shine truck. Out come the magazines and on goes the computer again! You’ve got to find the latest upgrades and prices. Now the planning for the build up should be done.
   A big pile of used and new parts is starting to take over the remaining bay in your garage. The UPS guy hates your *#@$%&* guts! The local beer store is stocking up because they know all your buddies will be stopping by on their way to your house. And your wife is looking for those divorce papers again. Painstakingly every part is cleaned and assembly process begins. Things don’t always go right though. Some nights are better for drinking beer then for turning wrenches. For the most part you’ll be out there every minute you can spare by yourself getting a fix for your addiction!
   Eventually it’s done. Floors like new, bodywork complete, drivetrain in and tough as nails, lifted just the right amount, engine making just the right power for wheeling, and ready for the first wheeling trip. All the guys come over for the final inspection. They aren’t surprised to see that you spent $0.00 on chrome goodies for the beast. A couple of beers later and you now have the toughest 4X4 ever built!
   Then it’s mentioned! “Saturday morning 6:00 am at the usual meeting spot”. Which would be the local resturaunt for a big breakfast followed by a day in the woods. They want to see if it will really keep up. Your confident but a little nervous so the rest of the week is spent checking every nut and bolt. Friday night you will hardly sleep…even the wife is excited now!
   6:00 am Saturday morning the parking lot of the resturaunt is looking like a small 4X4 jamboree. Everybody is on time, feeding those hangovers. All of them taking turns giving you crap about your truck. Then all of a sudden it sounds like the start of a Winston Cup race. Built motors with loud exhaust fire up and roll out heading for the meanest trails around. Your rig keeps up all day. Not a problem with anything. It took all the abuse you gave it. You’ve earned the respect of your fellow wheelers and so has your rig.

   On the way home you think back to all the nights in your garage, all the money that went into this 4X4, all the nagging from your wife, and you can’t believe that you finally got it done. Then all of a sudden your heart stops for a second…..You look at your wife…..Lock up the brakes…..And say to her…..“Did you see that old truck beside that barn?”
Real trucks are built, not bought Build thread

Give me a long enough lever and a place to stand, and I shall move the earth or break this bolt...Whatever, just hold my beer!

Offline firefighter

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2012, 12:44:44 PM »
Awesome write up thirsty !!

I laughed out loud in a few spots because I can relate so much.

My UPS guy hates me after delivering my lift kit with new leaf springs.
You buy your buddies food and gas at the local station.
Heading to all the local swap meets and junk yards.
Parts laying around everywhere in and out of the garage and basement.
Your project is finished (or almost finished) and you're already looking around for what you'll do next. Ha Ha !!

My wife can't wait for me to be done now !!

I can relate to all this. Thanks for making my day just a bit better.
Now, why does this have to be Valentines Day? It ruins a perfectly good garage night.    :)

Offline thirsty

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2012, 12:51:01 PM »
Now, why does this have to be Valentines Day? It ruins a perfectly good garage night.    :)
This being Valentines Day shouldn't ruin a perfectly good garage night. A perfectly good garage night could however ruin your Valentines Day night.   :'(

Maybe you could take her out on a date to the junkyard or something.
Real trucks are built, not bought Build thread

Give me a long enough lever and a place to stand, and I shall move the earth or break this bolt...Whatever, just hold my beer!

Offline gto109

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2012, 01:41:01 PM »
Wow this sounds about like me.  I've always had a few projects laying around.  I had a 77 firebird when it was close to running I came home with a 67 Le mans convertable for the next project.  sold that old firebird to build a drag car out of a regal.  ecomomy hit didn't have the funds for a drag car project and the wife wanted an 86 trans am so we got that and then sold the regal.  now the 67 has so much dirt on it that you can't see though the glass and the trans am has about a years worth right now.  the truck on the other had is what I decided to work on.  And I'm always lookin for whats around the corner.

Maybe you could take her out on a date to the junkyard or something

I loved that answer Kim goes to the boneyard a lot with me she likes it for some reason.
67 Le Mans Convertible resto project 350 Pontiac w/powerglide,
85 Scottsdale k-10 305 700r4,
86 Trans Am 305 350th
06 Dodge Ram daily driver

Offline fitz

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2012, 04:01:55 PM »
Thirsty, great job.
Hearing stories about what takes place in you garage makes me want to rip out my Modine heating unit and install a wood stove in mine.

Offline bake74

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2012, 07:06:45 PM »
    Then all of a sudden your heart stops for a second…..You look at your wife…..Lock up the brakes…..And say to her…..“Did you see that old truck beside that barn?”
     
     Ok thirsty by far this single line is the funniest and most dear to me. 
     When I was married to my ex wife, I had been building jeeps for years, she wanted one.  I had her pick one out.  We paid $13000.00 for a 93 wrangler in 95.  I spent the next 1 1/2 years and another $15000.00 on the build.  (It would go anywhere and over anything)  Anyway we went out on it's maiden voyage and broke it in. 
     This is the funny part, I actually did what you said, saw a 80ish CJ8 for sale and slammed on the brakes to go back.  She said if I did she would divorce me on the spot.  Oh course I sunk my head and drove home like a puppy who just got scolded.
      But hearing someone else say that just made my day and made me laugh, Thank you.
#1: The easiest and most obvious solution to any problem is 99% of the time correct.
#2: There is no such thing as impossible, it just takes longer.
  74 k10, 77k10    Tom

Offline thirsty

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2012, 08:14:27 PM »
I had a sneaking suspicion that some of you guys might have had similar experiences.
Glad everyone is enjoying it so far.
Where that came from there are a couple more wheeling related things from back then. That just happened to be my favorite. What do you guys think should I dig up another?
Real trucks are built, not bought Build thread

Give me a long enough lever and a place to stand, and I shall move the earth or break this bolt...Whatever, just hold my beer!

Offline gto109

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2012, 08:31:20 PM »
Please do i enjoyed that one.
67 Le Mans Convertible resto project 350 Pontiac w/powerglide,
85 Scottsdale k-10 305 700r4,
86 Trans Am 305 350th
06 Dodge Ram daily driver

Offline bobcooter

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2012, 09:49:31 PM »
That was great! I don't own a 4x4 but I can relate to the addiction parts. It's like you were watching me while I hunting for my truck. Mine was worn out and tired looking when I spotted it but it was love at first sight. Yes, let's have another story.
'79 C-20, 350/400, 3:73 gears, 9 leafs and a headache rack
Favorite Quote, "Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from poor judgement."

Offline Cabcorner

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2012, 06:17:53 AM »
   Hello my name is cabcorner and I'm addicted to chevy trucks.....
               
                             Great story Thirsty, it belongs in a magazine

Offline firefighter

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2012, 12:04:40 PM »
   Hello my name is cabcorner and I'm addicted to chevy trucks.....

The first step toward recovery is admission.
You're on the right track.     :)

Offline thirsty

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2012, 12:25:50 PM »
Over the years of wheeling that we did I learned a few lessons.

Unmistakable ways to tell if you're in trouble wheeling


If the guys running 44" Super Swampers are wishing they had a little more tire and you're running 33's.

If your 44's are in 40" of mud and you chose to keep the 6 cyl. in your rig.

If you think that something is wrong with the door because you can't open it to get out and hook up the tow strap.

If you have 15' to stop at the top of the hill and your motor is turning 6000 RPM......... 10' from the top.

You're in trouble when an environmentalist hikes by.........and asks you if you would like him to call for help.

If the broken driveshaft hurts your foot when it hits the floorboards.

If you need 50' of strap, have it, but got no other truck to pull you out.
 
If you've just found out at what RPM your valve train will float.
 
If you rip your muffler off, look in the mirror, and see......... a header attached to it.
 
If it's possible to add oil to your engine......... through the drain plug in the oil pan.
 
If you've used all the bar and chain oil that you've got......... for your transmission.
 
If anybody has left to get you something off a parts rig......... in another town.
 
If you're happy because you have another transfer-case at home.........like the one you just destroyed.
 
If you realize that you're radio isn't loud enough.........to hide the rod knock.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2012, 12:27:54 PM by thirsty »
Real trucks are built, not bought Build thread

Give me a long enough lever and a place to stand, and I shall move the earth or break this bolt...Whatever, just hold my beer!

Offline gto109

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2012, 01:17:01 PM »
Let's see I've gone to get parts to do a trail fix, gotten stuck with headlights buried in the mud with a jeep cherokee, killed a transfer case. in my old ford stuck on snow and ice only to find out it was a one year only deal, crushed a few exhaust systems.  back when i ran with the one 4x4 club I used to keep a tow strap tied to the tow hooks on the lifted Mazda i had back then.  I only had 31's on it and still tried to keep up with the guys with the 44s
67 Le Mans Convertible resto project 350 Pontiac w/powerglide,
85 Scottsdale k-10 305 700r4,
86 Trans Am 305 350th
06 Dodge Ram daily driver

Offline heavychevy91

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2012, 05:35:43 PM »
I love this!

Offline thirsty

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Re: Truck addiction explained
« Reply #14 on: February 20, 2012, 06:08:33 PM »
This one is for fitz.

Garage Rules
1.   No whining, moaning or groaning allowed ! Crying is OK if you run out of beer or break a good tool. (Limited) b......g and complaining is acceptable. P.....g and moaning constitute whining.

2.   Any project left inside the garage due to the lack of ability to fix it is subject to a paint touch-up. Color and quality is determined by availability of beer and spray paint.

3.   At no time will an engine of Japanese descent be allowed to rev at more than 1200 rpm.

4.   When human life is present the sacred concrete slab will be kept between 65 degrees and 85 degrees. Regulation will be done with the round black hot thing next to the bench.

5.   At no time shall an overly intoxicated individual consume beer from a bottle jeopardizing the sacred concrete slab. The official mechanic and webmaster are excluded and can do any stupid thing they want.

6.   No alcohol shall be consumed between the hours of 6:00am and 7:00am on February 29th unless it is a leap year. Only then can this rule be ignored.

7.   The leaving of tools outside is punishable by shoveling the 5 acre recreation field behind the garage after each snow storm.

8.   Some of the tools are sacred. Thrashing, trashing or disrespecting one of these tools is punishable by a lobotomy and / or castration.

9.   If you enjoy the heat you will be expected to stack some wood. Not adhering to this rule will cause everyone to stare at you from inside the warm garage while you are fixing something outside of the garage next winter.

10.   Drive it like you hate it !!!
« Last Edit: February 20, 2012, 06:11:51 PM by thirsty »
Real trucks are built, not bought Build thread

Give me a long enough lever and a place to stand, and I shall move the earth or break this bolt...Whatever, just hold my beer!