Congrats Irish! It's the greatest joy in life, bar none.
Here's my novel about it;
I had many of the same concerns as you when we found out we were gonna be parents. Has it been a big change in our lives? You bet it has. Our little girl (Riley) is 3 now. The first two years were the most expensive by far, so far. Formula, diapers, doctor visits, etc.. But that has really calmed down in the last year. She eats grown up food now, is past all of the routine doctor visits that occurred seemingly every month, and she's potty trained (or as I put it, "House Broken") now.
We rarely ever have to buy clothes. The rest of the family shows up randomly with all kinds of stuff for her to wear. My sister and Mom are recreational shoppers. My sister's name is Aunt Shoppin', as far as my little girl is concerned. The only clothes I pay for are camo and "boys" clothes that I like and the women don't ever get for her.
Now I can't take her to O'Rielly's w/o having to buy her a hot wheel. Or Walmart w/o buying her a toy. But that's something I let happen, I guess I'm a little soft that way.
My advice to you, not knowing your financial situation, is buy a load of diapers up front. You can't have too many. Breast feed if at all possible. My kid didn't take to it, and formula got expensive. But on WIC, that will be covered. Formula is a gamble, as some will be allergic to certain kinds. Mine didn't do well on anything but Similac sensitive (or something like that), which is about the most expensive there is.
Buy a good swing for the kiddo, and don't be ashamed to use it. It was a life saver for us when we dealt with colic for about 4 months.
Use hand me down clothes whenever you can. The kid will outgrow them so fast it won't matter that another kid wore them for two to three months before your kid does.
Don't go overboard on all the fancy toys. More often, the kid will have more fun with the box they come in than the toy itself.
Even if you work and your wife doesn't, be prepared to take shifts with her when you get home. Keeping the new mom sane goes a long way!
This will have all your hobbies on hold for a period of time. But they will not need to go away all together. If you're like me, all of your toys are paid off. So they won't be eating anything while not in use. Thus, no reason to cave to the MIL and sell anything. I can make a few assumptions about her, wanting you to sell the 4x4, but that's not what the thread is about. I still hunted and fished religiously during my kids infant years. It's who I am. My wife understood and didn't want me giving up my identity just because we had a kid. I did give up a wonderful deer lease the week after finding out we were to be parents. A move I've never regretted. I went back to huting family land, and still put a LOT of meat on the table every year. Some of the family didn't understand my, seemingly, lack of wholesale change. But that's their problem. It's YOUR WIFE, YOUR CHILD, YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY that counts. Do what it takes for THEM, and tell the rest to jump in the lake if they don't like it.
Obviously, everyone's situation is different. But selling off stuff now only means you'll have to re-acquire it later when money is even tighter. Keep you toys if at all possible!
Due date is July right? Find yourself a project now. Something that keeps you home, doesn't cost a lot of money, and keeps you outside of the house. Keep a cordless phone on you with a conference button in case your wife needs you. But stay away, as far away as you practically can. It'll let her do her nesting thing, and you to have an escape instead of sitting around watching her go seemingly crazy, and dwelling on all these changes everyone is warning you about. Then, after the kid is born, be aware that it will take a few weeks, at least for the hormones to stabilize in your wife. She will be Jekyll and Hyde during this time. It's just the way it is. Don't fight it. Both of you should talk about this as much as possible now, so you can realize it when it happens later, and laugh about it. We did! My wife would be going freakin nuts, and we'd be laughing about it because we were prepared mentally.
Buy "Babies First Year for Dummies". Great book. Took us through the first year with minimal calls for advice to our more experienced parenting friends.
Lastly, when yours and your wife's parents, mostly moms, tell you you're doing something wrong with the child, and they will....Tell them at the first opportunity that they have raised their kids, and this one is not theirs. They will have their chance to spoil your kid when it gets older, but it is YOUR kid, and will be raised how YOU see fit. Speaking for you and your wife of course. Educate yourself to the rough points, and take the rest day by day. It's a great experience. And always remember, parenting is instinctual. Knowing everything up front is not necessary. Common sense will guide y'all through this. There's nothing I wouldn't give up for my child. Including my life, literally. But you seem like a common sense kind of fella, and we are the type of people that keep this world turning. We find a way.
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