New Englanders

[Blazin]

Forget Rednecks, you know your from New England if:
**
 If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September
 through May, you live in New England .
**
 If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance
 and they don't work there, you live in New England .
**
 If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
 you live in New England .
**
 If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with
 someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England
**
 You know you're a New Englander when: "Vacation" means
 going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend.
**
 You measure distance in hours. .well, of course!
**
 You know several people who have hit a deer more than
 once.
**
 You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
and back again.
 **
 You can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
 raging blizzard without flinching.
**
 You install security lights on your house and garage,
 but leave both unlocked.
**
 You carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how
 to use them.
**
 You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
 snowsuit.
**
 The speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're
 going 80 and everybody is passing you!
**
 Driving is better in the winter because the potholes
 are filled with snow.
**
 You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
 winter and road construction.
**
 You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
**
 You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
**
 You actually understand these jokes!
**
 Thought you would all get a kick out of this I did!

[levisjohnson]

You know you're a Floridian if....

... Socks are only for bowling.

...You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

...A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

...Your winter coat is made of denim.

...You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

...You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

...Anything under 70 is chilly.

...You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

...You could swim before you could read.

...You have to drive north to get to The South.

...You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

...Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

...You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark

...You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

...You dread love bug season.

...You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley , Frances , Ivan and Jeanne.

...You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

...You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

...You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.

...'Down South' means Key West

...You think New York drivers licenses should only be valid in New York ..

...Flip-flops are everyday wear

...Shoes are for business meetings and church,

...but you HAVE worn flip fl ops to church before.

...Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

...An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

...You smirk when a game show's 'Grand Prize' is a trip or cruise to Florida

...You measure distance in minutes.

...You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

...You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

...A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

...You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

...You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer

...It's not soda, cola, or pop. it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor, 'What kinda coke you want?'

...Anything under 95 is just warm.

...You've hosted a hurricane party.

...You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. ( Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)

...You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

...You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Ichnatucknee , Withlacoochee and Micanopy

...You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

...Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.

...You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.

...You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

...You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

...You recognize Miami-Dade as ' Northern Cuba '.

Just some Florida one liners for ya Blazin.

[ccz145a]

I liked the parka and shorts comment!

We've all got something like this:

You might be from Birmingham if ...

* The number "280" makes your face tic.

* You say something "tumped over."

* You call a garden hose a "hose pipe."

* You see as many people at the beach that you know as you see in Birmingham .

* You automatically add an "s" to the end of any establishment that does not end in the letter "s." Example: Parisian's, Bottega's, Zydeco's, Ocean's.

* Richard Scrushy owes you and half your family back pay and a job.

* You have children who think the statue on Liberty Parkway is THE Statue of Liberty.

* You know the difference between O.T.'s and Otey's.

* You're a woman and you read the sports page everyday.

* You are on a first name basis with local radio show hosts.

* You refuse to attend Region's Charity Classic, the Crawfish Boil or City Stages without free tickets AND VIP passes.

* During race week, you drive faster - and you know what race I'm talking about.

* You think Milo 's has the best hamburgers because of the random extra meat chunk hidden underneath the regular patty.

* You graduated from a local high school, attended a state/local university, and now work or hope to work for Southern Living.

* One of the first things you find out about someone is whether they are an Alabama or Auburn fan.

* You spend more money each month at Innisfree than on your mortgage.

* You do the same thing with the same people every weekend.

* You think driving 15 minutes is way out of your way.

* You can name the Auburn and Alabama coaches but not the B'ham mayor.

* You describe where you live as "over the mountain," "the village," or "diaper row" and others understand.

* You cannot carry on a reasonable conversation about local politics. Nor do you want to.

* You can't go grocery shopping without wearing lipstick.

* You have ever referred to someone as a "Brookie."

* You've never visited Vulcan.

* You think living in Vestavia Hills , Mountain Brook , Homewood , etc., means you don't actually live in Birmingham . Guess what?-You do.

* You think Oak Mountain really is a mountain.

* You miss Vulcan's lights glowing red when there was a bad car wreck.

* You know everyone I know.

* You know someone who knows someone who knows Courtney Cox.

* You know someone who knows someone who dated/went to school with/is best friends with Taylor Hicks (and convinced him to audition for American Idol).

* You know that 280 on Friday from 11 am to 8pm is the purest evil known to man.

* You're still here, after all these years.

Some things you'll NEVER hear a Birminghamian say...

* "Bear who?"

* "Could you bring me another tea, this one is too sweet."

* "I can't decide between Auburn or Alabama ."

* "Let me call you back, I'm driving."

* "There's my exit; I think I'll use my turn signal now."

* "I got lost in the airport!"

* "Gee, I wish the TV networks would run that 40 year old news clip of the Dogs and firehoses again."

* "I'm too drunk to drive. Let's take a cab."

* "That Tennessee 'orange' color is really beginning to grow on me."

* "I hate beer."

* "Man, this road sure is smooth."

* "Dale who?"

* "1 inch of snow is no big deal."

* "When is the Iron Bowl?"

* "The UAB campus is so picturesque"

* "We have the greatest traffic engineering department in the world!"

* "College football sucks."

* "I sure wish Birmingham were more like Atlanta ."

[Blazin]

I can relate to the New York drivers license one!!!