My Grandad

[78 Chevyrado]

He gave me something the other day.  He's not here but he made me dig through his closet for it.  (I still haven't been thgough his stuff, and won't as long as he's alive)   He gave me his army uniform, the one he has left, the one he wore home after the war was over.  He married my grandmother in it, it was the one he came off the boat in when he got back to the states in 1946.  I have the coat and 2 pair of pants.  the shirt is gone, but i have the coat. 

I'm feeling a bit better about it all.  He's in such good hands. 

I USED TO WORK MAINTENANCE AT A NURSING HOME 5 OR 6 YEARS AGO.  IT WAS ONE OF THOSE BAD HOMES.  I QUIT AFTER 9 MONTHS CUZ I COULDNT HANDLE IT, THE NEGLECT, AS A MATTER OF FACT ON MY WA OUT I SENT COMPLAINTS TO THE COUNTY POLICE, THE STATE POLICE, THE CITY POLICE.  They got things fixed up, ALL NEW STAFF, TOP TO BOTTOM.   but I still DESPISE nursing homes even if they are good.  I'll never change that opinion, but my grandad is in EXCELENT HANDS.   IF I THOUGHT HE WASNT  ID BE UP THERE WITH COPS SO THEY COULD EXPLAIN IT TO THEM.  I'm extremely loud and abnoxious when I don't like something.  These people are wonderful to him, but I still don't like the idea, though my mother made me understand recently, I'm not a doc, I'm not gonna be, I cant give him the care he needs and If I tried, it would be neglect. 

So I'm feeling a lot better, I don't like it, but i can definately live with it.

Thanks for ALL YOU GUYS SUPPORT AND KIND WORDS.  Of all the sites I've joined on the net, THIS ONE has the most BROTHERS on it.  I love this site the most.  CHRIS, you have an EXCELLENT SITE and it's attracted the best of people to it.  You guys are my friends.  And I'm happy to be on here with you.

[thirsty]

These people are wonderful to him, but I still don't like the idea, though my mother made me understand recently, I'm not a doc, I'm not gonna be, I cant give him the care he needs and If I tried, it would be neglect. 

So I'm feeling a lot better, I don't like it, but i can definately live with it.

Kenny,
These words make a lot of sense. As you know from a past conversation outside of this thread, I am in a similar situation with my mom. She worked in a nursing home for 30 years. Although it was a good one, she might have seen things that she never shared with us. My family and I decided that we would do whatever it took no matter the cost or sacrifice from us to keep her in her home. I know that there might be a day when we can no longer care for her enough to justify keeping her in her home. We/mostly me because I am self employed spend more time with her lately than at home. Today I had to show her how the toaster worked (dementia), tomorrow if I have to show her again I will. It's all part of the care she needs that we can give her for now. My wife and I stay with her usually 5 days a week then some of my other family will come stay on the weekends. I don't look forward to the day that we can't do it anymore.

I admire and respect you for doing what you did and still do for your Grandad. You faced one of my biggest fears with a nursing home. I hope I can deal with it in a manner as you did if and when the time might come. Thank your mom from me for what she said to you, even though I new it already, it did me good to hear it on this forum too.

John

[78 Chevyrado]

Thanks man, It's great to hear from people who have been through this, hopefully this helps those of us not yet into these problems.

He's not getting less physically healthy, but he's definately slipping mentally.  He had me hunting all over the nursing home today for his 3 canes.  his room mate told me they were in the closet and there they were.  I told him they were in there, and he said sober as a priest yeah they're in there, i put them there.  It so funny, he just knew they were stolen and he was mad, then it went to that.   they take great care of him though.  i see him twice a week and bring him Captain D's fish once a week.   the sad part now is that if i only saw him once or twice a year he probably wouldn't know.  but thats not gonna happen.  he's only 7 miles away so i'll be there.