Thanks JAH...
Honestly, I’m doing WAY better than a lot of people. Yeah... I spent a lot of money that I SHOULDN’T have... but hindsight works that way. I count myself as fortunate and certainly wasn’t looking for sympathy.
I’m glad that your dad had the forethought and ability to take care of you and yours so well. I hope you’re thankful, it seems so to me. Not everyone is so fortunate.
I will be completely honest... losing my grandmother last year is the hardest and longest lasting emotional thing I’ve encountered in 37 years. I honestly might give the house sale money back to get that last visit.
I saw her the weekend she died... she was gone enough SHE wasn’t there anymore. Thankfully she didn’t linger... she wasn’t the sort to impose on people. She had 103 really good years and I’ll grant her the balance of the almost 104 as pretty dang decent... the last pandemic ALMOST took her and she spent some time in the hospital after a school bus crash in the 30’s. There were a couple stays in the hospital over that century but NONE of it even touched her spirit.
There was no reason for her to fight the last one, not after so much... I talked to her... my mom and my son talked to her... and she went peacefully... thankfully in the night when none of us were there. That was her way. I’m thankful most of all that she didn’t make me do what I was prepared to...
Mom and I went up on a Friday. We sat with her until the wee hours Saturday morning and finally went to her house. I woke up that morning with the feeling that it was my responsibility to tell her she could go. I never found the words, but she went before I awoke Sunday morning.
My little guy has a memory of her... thankfully not enough so to miss her the way mom and I do. But he KNOWS who G.G. Marlie was. He knows well enough to treasure the things we gave to him from her.
I wasn’t there for it, but my mom got her last day of lucidity. I don’t know what she and mom discussed, but mom relayed her wishes for Saxon, my son: “be kind, KNOW and SHOW love...” It’s good advice for all of us. I’m SUPER!!! thankful that mom got grandmas last lucid moments and avoided the turmoil my uncle got before the hospice care really kicked in.
Here’s grandma at her 103 birthday:
With me and my son the last time we saw her, upright at least:
I’m the one that looks like hammered sh*t...
They got some time together and I’m thankful for that.
Grandma put me through college and in many ways facilitated everything I share with you guys here. I’m certain she wouldn’t have understood most of it. How and WHY for sure
Still... she touched people farther and wider than just me and was fairly spectacular in the way that only an unassuming, Southeast Ohio farmer’s daughter can be. My great grandfather Berry, who I never met, was a successful farmer and brought power to his neighbors before grandma was even born. That was ultimately what led to her fight with the 1918-19 flu, he also had one of few telephones in their area and its likely a neighbor calling the doctor infected her. She recovered and went on to put herself through Cornell for a masters degree.
Again, none of this is to be a downer... I’m proud and thankful for what I have. As grandma said, I’ve known love and I strive to show it as well. I’m not broke and don’t plan to be... things suck right now, but we’ll ALL make it through... TOGETHER... we just have to remember what we’re all fighting for.
Know love
Show love
Stay healthy and safe
Jeremy