This makes the fourth December in a row I post this here. It's something I put together back in '07.
‘Twas the night before Christmas
and just outside the house
A Ford was broken
And therefore quiet as a mouse
The engine was seized all froze, would not fire
With hopes it would get going again, if just for a while
The children were wishing, to go out and Christmas shop
They could go no where, for their transport was dead as a rock
And Mamma in her ‘kerchief, yelling at Dad
“Get a Chevy next time so I won’t be so mad!”
So Dad snapped back, “you think you’re some model?”
He went to the garage to drown himself in the bottle.
When out on the road, he heard such a roar
He ran to the door but fell flat on the floor
Tilting his head up, he could barely see
But he was certain, flying by was a GMC
He gathered up the family and called a cab
Things were looking up, Mom wouldn’t be so mad
While waiting for the ride, he had a notion
He waited til upon the roof there was a commotion
Screw the cab, he grabbed the ladder
Mom said, “what the heck is the matter?”
Dad said, “We have our ride, get on the sleigh!”
“Move that fat man in the red suit out of the way”
So up they went into the sky
Dad still drunk flying high
Now Dasher, now Dancer, Now Prancer and Vixen
Mom stayed behind, not knowing what she’s missin’
So up to the house tops their coursers they flew
Stepping on the roof, Dad slipped on the dew
Down he fell, without a hope and a prayer
Clothes snagged on the gutters, his pants had a tear
Dangling in the air, finally he fell
Landing on the ground, nearly breaking his tail
Back in the sleigh, dropping his kids off at Walmart
To the Ford dealership, no, he has a change of heart
A Ford no more, A Chevy it will be
It’ll be very dependable, the family will see
He is sobering up, it is apparent
Now he is becoming a responsible parent
Ditching the sleigh, back to Walmart he did drive
In his new Chevy truck, he suddenly felt alive.
The kids came out running, shocked at what they saw
Dad actually does have some brains, a truck without a flaw
Back on the road, they were now heading home
Only to discover, Mom had left, now they’d be alone
Dad had finally gotten wise, but it was too late
The damage was done, now he had to find a new mate
But that is all right, he thought, with a smirky smile
With that awesome truck, he knew it would only take a little while.
The moral of the story is don’t wait until it is too late
Drive a Chevy, so your wife will not show so much hate
However, as for vintage vehicles, there are some things
That Ford did great, like the older Mustangs
Adding this the writer had to do
For the old Stangs, I have a few
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
-Andy
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