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What is unbelievable to me is that you actually are accepting of this sort of behavior and try to explain it away like it is okay. Least painful solution is to just move your money away from her work environment. I personally would speak with an attorney to see what is really legal for her boss to do. I would be totally surprised if this sort of behavior is legal! Last thing I would do is just pull my pants down and bend over!
My wife enjoys the job and it's one of the best jobs in town(small town). The boss lady is a powerful woman, she has tons of "connections" and pretty much rules this town and a few others. She always has a way out of trouble...ALWAYS. Using Paypal has kept her from being nosy about us lately. Boss lady is the president of the bank, so she makes up policy as she goes. Their current policy allows for them to monitor and report suspicious activity without getting in any trouble. But she can easily say she was searching for an error and "accidentally" noticed a transaction that stood out. When she would speak to my wife about stuff, she would act like she was giving friendly advice. I don't like it, but that's just the way it is. I wish someone with concrete proof would bust her one day, but it's not likely, everybody just lets that crap slide(like I do). She's been able to get away with much worse stuff that's just plain wrong.