Lost two friends in a month, having a hard time dealing with it.

[1976Scottsdale]

About January 31, I was out parts hunting at a local salvage yard, 'pick n' pull".  I got a message on my phone saying to call my best friend, I called him and he told me that a friend of hours had died, I asked who and he told me who it was and that he had taken his own life.  I had passed his house that morning and noticed an ambulance and several police trucks.  He had been in a lot of trouble so I thought he was being taken in and drove on.  I kinda wish I'dve thought about it a little more.  Then last Tuesday I found out that another friend, who I have known since I was six and he was five, took his own life as well.  That one hurt because his brother is my best friend.  There seemed to be nothing wrong in his case.  Then I heard that there are supposed to be more people planning the same.  I don't understand it, but I am just checking on my friends often now to make sure they are okay.  My boss at work told me I had 15 minutes to go to the visitation for the last one and be back at work stocking shelves.  I stewed over that and told him I did not agree with his views and that I would be leaving.  He promptly insulted me by asking what my problem was and if I was too unsure headed to know that I have to put work before everything else.  At that point I suggested where he could put the job he was having me do, finished my shift, and walked out.  Only job I've ever just walked away from, but I was so mad at him and upset over everything else that I was going to do something stupid to him that I would regret later, so I said the heck with it and left.
Thanks guys for letting me vent a little.

Kevin.

[Captkaos]

a) If you work over 6.5 hours a day you are entitle to 2 15 minute breaks and 1 hour lunch by the government, anything less and you can seek legal action.
b) If that is how he was to me I wouldn't work there either.

Sorry for you loss, I'll send up a prayer for you.

[Redneckchevy]

Man thats sad..When i was 18 i lost  my best friend also... got shot over drugs......You never get over it...For me iv never had any better friend then him and i always think about him....Its been almost 5 years now and i have a hard time going past his house...It changed my life..After that i never went back to jail got a job got married had 3 kids....as for that job man....Thats bull...Good friends are like family man..always there when u need them always got you back...Ur boss should of given u the day off ...Anyways sorry for ur loss man

[DnStClr]

That's a tough thing to go through. I don't understand what as happened in America, that so many young folks are taking their own lives. It has happened around here in Tn. too. When we witness these things happening, I am convinced that the only hope we have is to be firmly planted in the Biblical teachings of Jesus Christ. Life just has a way of knocking you down just when things get going good doesn't it?  

[80stepsideguy]

Kevin,
i am sorry for your loss as well, i lost a good friend as well in that rhode island nightclub fire in 2003 and i was here in Florida when i heard it happened.I have a firefighter friend that was pulling charred remains out of the fire.He told me he has fellow firefighter that was traumatized and has real bad flashbacks from it and couldn't sleep and couldn't eat.Its something you least expect to happen in your life to lose friends.I also had a good friend that lived in Montana on a farm that i went to school with, he left the service cause of massive back pains.Then i heard he was burying a horse with a backloader and the ground was soft under the tires and he was moving the horse in the hole and the ground gave way n crushed him and was killed instantly.I remember 1 night he smacked a pole with his 69 cutlass and we were there 12 hours pulling the front sheetmetal off to get the motor and tranny out.The car was totalled but the parts were still good on it.It was a memorable moment that will never be forgotten.Just remember the great moments you had with them and that will somewhat ease the pain.

thanks
pat

[86 chevy silverado]

As soon as hard times fall, you see a lot of this, crimes, scamming, bank robberys in Ct like crazy lately, and people so down they would rather take their life than deal with the pain. I've felt it bad myself at times then I think of whats important around me and it keeps me going. One of the dealerships I worked at I got real close to the guy that worked right next to me for 3 years. We used to party together chasing the girls around both liked fast cars and bikes, he was killed in a head on accident on his bike on a one way street. The other person was drunk going the wrong way and fled the scene. We all heard about it the next morning at work, on the radio news. I was drunk by noon that day and stayed that way for a week. My friends are my family. My condolence's to you.

[Blazin]

I feel for you. I have had a couple friends take their own lives, and several die in crashes, some their fault and a few not over the years. Worst one was a real good friend of mine her little brother was killed by a guy that didn't bother to scrape the frost off his entire windshield, coming up a hill into the sunlight, he rearended a dump truck. Her little brother was standing behind the dump truck shoveling dirt out to fill a pot hole in the road. He was 20 years old, just completed fire fighter one, was going for his EMT. He had been an Eagle Scout. Had his Harley paid off, his new F250 almost paid for, was looking at buying land to build with his girl friend / future wife.

[autorepr]

Geez,,,   Life is definitely short enough. I think people in that situation forget that there will allways be another tomorrow if you let it. We had a guy at a place I worked at that I started getting to know, he worked in another department and he started hanging around in the maintenance shop and we would shoot the bull. Well he decided to off himself one day by literally jumping in front of a semi on the highway! Talk about involving a total stranger in your problems! There was nothing that poor driver could do.  That was about 8 years ago, now I work at another place and same story a guy here over the holidays parked his car one night, put a gun to his face and bang, blew his head off.  Both were sad and hard to take. I just barelly knew these guys, I can't imagine that story being about a good freind or family member! These guy's were both in good physical health, one in his 40s the other in his 20s. What a waste!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry for all of your losses. Keep your Friends close, Family closer and remind them the sun will shine tomorrow.

[choptop]

Our prayers are with you. I lost my cousin and a good friend to suicide. Both were drunk when it happened because they wouldn't eventhink about ti sobber. Hang in there friend, it is toughh, but you have to pull through because some many other people are needin you with them. As far as your boss thing, if he walked away with his teeth intact, then he did good. No one deserves that kind of treatment, and you have my respect for handleing it the way you did.

[Lt.Del]

I supervise 9 deputies at work.  When someone tells me their best friend or a relative dies, the first thing I think of is his feelings.  I am very sympathetic and I assure him I will do anything possible on my end. I can't believe there are people out there who have no feelings towards a co-worker or subordinate to not let them have some time to grieve or whatever...that is a tough situation for someone. Surely there mind won't be on the job and productivity will be poor or an accident can happen.  It is down right dumb to keep someone working in those conditions.

Kevin, I am sorry to hear about your friend.  And I congratulate you on what you did at your job. I hope your boss has a boss.  I'd be calling him up in a heart beat.

Back when I was in high school, there were three of us guys--the 3 amigos.  We all had a nickname for each other.  We all ran track/cross country and we'd do anything for one another.  I got to school one day only to hear that one of them had committed suicide the night before.  I was crushed--I didn't know what to think-denial--thinking he's gonna come up behind my and slap me on my back, whatever. I couldn't believe it.  I knew he had expiramented with a few drugs just before he did that--which was so unlike him...we tried to talk to him and stuff, then one day, he was dead. He left behind a younger brother whom I know took it worst.  Poor guy.

It is all part of life i guess.  There are others--mainly accidents--at one point when i went to college, three of my graduating H.S. class all were killed in separate incidents within a month.  We just had our 20th reunion last year and it was tough when we mentioned their names.

There'll always be a void, an empty place inside you. Concentrate on the memories.   

 

 

[Fordeatinz71]

i'm very sorry to hear of your loss.  i lost my best friend to a car accident about 4 years ago and it's never really been the same since.  time will ease your pain.  it will never vanish completely, but time will ease it.  just let the good times ya had with the two of them help ya through, and make sure you honor their memories as they would have wanted you to. 

[VileZambonie]

A good friend of mine had a 79 shortbed stepside in high school. It was teal green and he got me into these trucks. That's why I bought my 1st one so I credit him with turning me onto these trucks. Unfortunately he committed suicide a few years ago and I still can't believe it. It's something you'll never understand. I also feel your pain and hope you can see the brighter side of your friends life.

[1976Scottsdale]

That's kinda how I look at it day to day.  I try not to think about the fights or arguments or any of that, just the happier stuff.  Racing trucks, helping him build his first chevy and his first Ford at the same time, all of that cool stuff.  It helps.

[cjtimp]

Sorry to hear of your loss of close friends. Our family will also send up prayers for you and for their families. Hang in there.....