Hey everyone i need your honest input on this

[Redneckchevy]

Dude alot of parents dont no when to let go....They always see u as the lil kid that was taring something up lol....U should be happy that he cares!
I mean he could worse alot worse...My father takes advantage of pepole and then moves on to the next...my own father was going to "hook me up" with  a 1998 ford ranger cpl years back...Said it was a deal of a life time..I could have it for 5 grand.....Well yea....When i said no all he did was run his mouth about me and brag how he bought it for 300 dollars from some older gentlemen that needed to pay his rent cause his SSI wasn't in!!!!

[80stepsideguy]

I understand where your comming from man but ya gotta realize im 34 years old and you cant hold onto your kids like this for the rest of your life.I made it clear if this continues to escalade i am leaving here and moving back up north to rhode island.I moved down here for them, i had plenty of friends and family there icouldv stayed with n perhaps gotten married and had a family but i chose them(parents).Like i told my friend in maryland last night it seems he expects me to work 7 days a week and pocket everything i make and not have any fun.I refuse to live like that especially in my own home.

thanks
pat

[VileZambonie]

Dear old Dad needs to mind his own business. Anything aside from your shared responsibilities is of none of his concern. If you want to spend your $ on your truck, booze, women, etc it's none of his business and you should tell him to but out and respect your lifestyle.

[Redneckchevy]

My father in law used to  live with us cause hes a bum that wont work...he tryd to steal my tools to pawn...Well 60 years old or not i had to kick him to the curb....Sounds really bad....But whats the point of life....If you cant live life the way you want it?....Even tho it was my home my stuff i got treated the same way you did. so i no how you feal dude...I dont regret the choice i made....But you might and thats what you gotta think about before u do something that big...Like ware will they end up with out your help?

[JJSZABO]

I feel for you Pat, but, I am not one to give this kind of advice.  My relationships with my parents are not so good - good luck with whatever you decide.  With a problem like this I find praying helps

[kfoz]

JUST KICK HIM OUT ALREADY AND GET RID OF THE HEADACHE.

[Bowtie Bomber]

Well, I can't say much from this stand point. Me and my dad are the same way with cars, we both love them fast, we both love them American V8's and we both love them to be all chromed out and looking fly. But my grandpa isn't like that. He's like your dad. Tells me to save my money for something else. But then again, there really isn't anything else for an 18 year old to spend his money on besides girl friends and cars... that and the occasional stogies for the drag strip meets. But I tell him I understand where he is coming from and I make it a habit to save at least $40-$60 and put it in the bank.

But it is your money. You've worked hard for it. I'll say it the way I see it with my money. I've worked hard to earn it, I'll spend it on anything I please. Saving money is important, but whats the point if you work hard and save up a lot of money and never have had a chance to spend it on something you like? Isn't that what money is for? It's like buying a Corvette and keep it in a garage all it's life and never drive it, there's no point. You gotta have fun with life as well as live it.

[choptop]

We should take care and respect our parents,but parents should respect their kids equally. I respect you highly for taking care of your parents, but don/t think it is right for you to have to leave everything you have worked for. It sounds like you have your financial situation in order, way to go. So many don't. I hope to be able to retire at 50.We'll see. Before dropping everything,discuss it with him, and if he don't like it, he can get an apartment. I think he is afraid you will wind up in the same position as he is, like captkaos said, and you should give it some thought. Unless you can quit working right now, and afford to live on what you have, then you should consider making plans to be able too, which it already sounds like you are.You never know when something will happen to you, or your work. I live in an area that people were making fortunes in the early 80's then lost everything in the late 80's. If you feel comfortably secure in your work area, and financial future,then keep doing what you are doing. There is nothing to worry about, Dad is just concerned. Another thing that I have seen, is investing in fixing these trucks is a type of investing that some don't understand. More often than notm I have seen these trucks go for more than what is financially invested. Granted your time may make that cost go higher, but I do it for a hobby.That is time that wouldn't make money anyway. If I can invest 10,000 over a period of a few years, turn around and sell it for any amount over 10,000, then that amount was saved, and the over amount was profit, plus I didn't blow the money on drugs or any other items that are here today, and flushed tomorrow. Good luck bro, hope it works out for you.

[okuma]

ask him why doesn't he get mad when you spend your money on him...motorcycle, dodge ram , cougar, ect....... if it only on his convenience?  (wow)

if feel you bro. ---- remember you are 34 yrs. old and under the same roof as your parents, not a good idea on my part. instead of splitting the bills. get them an efficiency room....     
 


GOOD LUCK WITH UR DECICIONS ON THIS !

[Stewart G Griffin]

i apologize for my slow response, but i was busy.  And probably will be busy for the next few weeks.

My finanicial is in great shape it`s his thats in the downward spiral he lost his job in 2000 after 23 years with the comapny, i was 26 and helping him and mom................



My name is on the title of the house everything is is in my name..............

In that case, i think what is happening now is, dad is feeling uncomfortable(obviously) about you supporting him and his own finances.  All along he was supporting you when you were coming up and now you have to support him and your mom.  Can you imagine how that feels?  Maybe a little embarrasing?  So, maybe this is his "defense mechanism"----to cut you down about your finances secretly makes him feel a little better about his own deal.

1) Are either of your parents working now?


In my case, i have my own apartment(w/garage!!!) but since i work 3 jobs sometimes i'll get off late and just go over to my parent's house to sleep.  And they'll get on me about how at 37 i should not be skateboarding anymore.  i just smile and tell them that the 2 best skateboarders in the world are in their 40's (Tony Hawk/Rodney Mullen).  My theory is that my parents themselves are afraid of getting older.

Anyways, my point about that is i don't get into a big argument about it---they'll just have to accept me for me.  Maybe you should try to not get into it too deep with your dad if possible;  i don't know how much he actually hounds you about the subject of money.

2) You may want to consider getting an apartment or another house on the other side of town or close by.  Yes, i know drastic measures.   But you got do to what you got to do sometimes.

3) Whose decision was it to buy the 300 and the motorcycle?   When you're finances are tanked, the last thing you do is buy new vehicles.

One thing i'm learning is that you really can't control alot of times how people think---even after you've convinced them that they're wrong.  And some people are stubborn. Especially some women.

[80stepsideguy]

Again i appreciate it all(replies and inside thoughts).I am a very meticulous person on my credit and take pride in keeping it clean, heck its basicially your name your keeping it clean.Well he didnt and its sad when QVC (for mom i swear) and home depot want there balances pad off and then they cancel yourmembership due to your credit.I havee helped them out in so many ways in the past 8 years and living under the same roof i think is the burden on this whole thing.I am considering leaving here and possibly getting my own place where i can come n go as i please and will probably be happy that i am on my own. KFOZ its easier said then done, in my heart i cant see throwing them out on the streets, its not me man i just cant do it i rather leave then them.I do indeed look into the future and i try n tell them this truck is the last thing i am gonna build then i am retiring from it but it still doesnt sink into him.But i will play it thru and see what happens, who knows i may end up getting invited to be a roommate for someone talknig to them at work bout this.Its sad you grow up as a kid and work so hard in your life to make all the right decisions and listen to your folks on the friends you choose to be around with and what you should spend your money on and so forth and then what do you got at the end?Regrets what you couldve done then to make it better and make yourself happier.I talked to my mother a few times on what his problem is and she told me she thinks he is jealous cause when he was my age he had to take care of me n my mother and since i am single i can do and what i please and it bothers him but we will see how this goes.

thanks
pat

[1976Scottsdale]

I'm gonna jump in here from a younger standpoint but with a somewhat similar situation.  I have owned 15 of these trucks since I was 15 years old and I am 19 now.  I poured money into all of them and then sold them off at a loss, until now when I have one that is completely original and legal, as in nothing swapped or cobbled.  I finally had to state that I am not into drugs or alcohol and I get my school work completed so I dod not see a problem with what I was doing.

Were I in your position, I would state as said in an earlier reply and state that if putting money away is the important thing, then perhaps you should reduce your outgoing finances (the 300, the driver, the bike, etc.) I hate to sound cold about this, but the truck and the cougar seem to be your babies, and you have to have a hobby of some kind, so I would protect them.

[80stepsideguy]

Kevin,
the motorcycle is paid off, the 300 there paying for i just signed for them since there credit is in the backwards position.I also signed for the 2002 intrepid they had before this car because of the same scenario.I will never sell that cougar that car will be around for a long long time, and to really tell you the truth, the truck is actually my mothers, i started tearing it apart in may of 06 and when they seen the problems it had they wanted to yank the drivetrain n junk the rest, well here i am at a good son again and decide to flip the bill on everything i am doing for her.She is a wonderful person and she doesn't get mad when i buy stuff for it.She said"hey its your money you spend it however you want and don't listen to him at all" she is the only reason i stay around to tell ya the truth.I guess sons are drawn to there mothers more then their fathers and vice a versa for females.I just wanna build a nice truck because this truck was their tow vehicle for their 25 foot tagalong trailer they owned in 1994 when they got this truck.Its a very long and complicated story but this truck is in memory of a 1940 we shouldve kept cause it was my grandfathers since 1956 and they sold it due to my ol man losing his job in 2000.I wont get into deep details but i hope to finish it for her while i am still around and watch her enjoy it then retire from the hobby.

thanks
pat

[okuma]

PAT - THAT IS A WONDERFUL IDEA YOU HAVE.YOUR MOM WILL BE SO PROUD....  in my case my dad just looks at me then stares at the truck and asks me "what are you going to put into it now?" and smiles at my mom......


well this truck(mine posted) used to be my dads we have owned it for around 10 years. and he teases me if i want to trade it for his cadillac ....(no way man!)

[DnStClr]

Well Pat, he's had a pretty catastrophic event- a financial failure at a time when things should be much better. I'm not sure that your dad's problems stem from jealousy as much as from failure in his life financially, and maybe he thinks that is the biggest reason for his relationship with you- finances. Assure him it's not. Let him know you love him because he's dad, not someone he's not able to be.  None of us are good at everything, and neither should he expect himself to be.
There may be some health issues going on with him as well, and it's unlikely he would feel comfortable sharing them. I know it's happening with me at age 59. You begin to know that the best yrs may truely be behind you.    Some of us accept it. Others don't-especially if they were competitive in their younger yrs.
 Looks like he might be trying to reestablish a relationship with you but doesn't realize he's doing so on a level that doesn't work for you.
 Your talents are a blessing to you and us here on this site. Don't let them go because of Dad's weakness. Be frank with him and tell him so. It's always possible he needs professional councilling as well.  Keep your spirits up. Mom sounds like a winner.